Eyes will be glued to flat-screens nationwide for the entire weekend come the first kickoff Saturday afternoon in San Francisco. Rounds of golf will be cancelled. Agendized voyages to The Home Depot and Costco will be shoved aside. America’s dominant sports passion is nearing its penultimate moment. Adjectives attempting to describe will ring in hyperbole and previously planned objectives will mire below the paramount. One item takes precedence over everything this time of year: the NFL Divisional Playoffs are a can’t-miss – a must-see.

New Orleans @ San Francisco, Saturday @ 1:30pm PST, FOX

“Supposed” unbiased on-lookers seem to tab the Niners as the “most complete” team in the playoffs. I need coke-bottle specs to be able to focus on that description realistically, seeing as the Niners’ offense seems to stall against the few legit defenses they have faced, as well as even mediocre defenses for that matter.

This tends to happen when San Fran’s jumbo personnel – power scheme is stymied on first and second downs, and third and medium plus becomes a remote prospect for Alex Smith. A pee-wee football offense only takes you so far, and a conference championship game, unfortunately for Niner fans, isn’t that place.

Turnovers, special teams play and “x-factors” will be be the difference. The fundamental questions become – do you trust Drew Brees or Alex Smith with turnovers? Easy answer – Brees. Who has the special teams and xfactor-advantage? Easy answer, Darren Sproles over Ted Ginn, Jr.

The Niner defense takes a stand that ends up becoming too little – too late, and San Francisco’s offense tries to match the touchdowns scored by the Saints with field goals. In what should be the last game played in the wind-tunneled, seagull-infested dump known as Candlestick, New Orleans eventually separates themselves in victory, 27-16. Give this storied franchise a new stadium already.

Denver @ New England, Saturday @ 5:00pm PST, CBS

Denver will try to make the game shorter early, but will fail with the inability to convert first downs on 3rd and medium-plus after conservative first and second down calls. Tom Brady loves the middle of the field, as Rob Gronkowski to the post and Wes Welker on the crossing route underneath will gain the Pats field position. Denver’s chances are dismal at the half and will become non-existent deep into the 3rd quarter, as New England will lead comfortably.

In what will eventually be only a B+ day for the Pats due to the stubborn Denver defense, New England will manage the clock with first downs after the ball is punted to them time and time again due to the ineptitude of the Broncos offense, and will end up with a somewhat notable 28-10 victory.

Tebow, while not in victory, will righteously justify his creator by thanking the Almighty for the learning experience. As soon as the next Super Bowl Champion is done celebrating and spring camp is soon to open, the “Tebow polarization” question is still the NFL lead.

Houston @ Baltimore, Sunday @ 10:00am PST, CBS

There are a lot of people picking a Houston upset, yet the funny thing is, it is based on absolutely nothing other than a thirst for the unforeseen outcome. The bottom line is, Arain Foster alone won’t be enough to save the rookie-captianed cattle.

Baltimore has every advantage you can think of: home field, playoff experience, defense, quarterback play, and even the running back factor is a push at best for Houston. But even if Foster out-produces Ray Rice, there are simply too many disadvantages for the Texans to overcome.

While not quite a blow-out at the mid-point, the Ravens will come out after lunch and take control, outscoring Houston from the half somewhere in the range of 17-7, and coast into the AFC Championship game, 27-13. Baltimore in January is no place for a third-string, rookie quarterback. That’s a rule.

New York @ Green Bay, Sunday @ 1:30pm PST, FOX

The New York Giants can run the ball. The New York Giants can play in the elements. Eli Manning has solidified himself as an “elite” quarterback, which he so desperately tried to assert himself as to the media before the season got underway. But can Manning match the highest-tier of “elite level” that Aaron Rodgers is capable of in his own back yard?

Considering The Pack gets back from injury: starting guard Brian Bulaga, veteran tackle Chad Clifton and go-to receiver Greg Jennings; picking against Green Bay in the confines of Lambeau Field would tend towards the suicidal, I’m not looking to swallow cyanide just yet after only 31 years.

That being said, two weeks of rest for most of Green Bay’s starters may result in some rust for the favorite, as I wouldn’t be surprised if New York climbed out to a 7-0 or 10-0 lead early. But in the end, the frozen tundra, Sunday night momentum and juggernaut capabilities gets the Packers by with a defense that bends but doesn’t break, 31-20.

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Baltimore @ New England and New Orleans @ Green Bay – could you ask for two better conference championship games? I guess you could if you are a fan of the teams picked to get beat? But that’s why… they play… the games.

Nothing is that easy to predict, right? Nothing is set in stone, right? Anyone’s crystal ball could end up being a bit foggy from time to time after all. But after a wild card weekend in which all the highest seeds advanced for the first time since god was an infant, the expected will again come to fruition.

Its time to separate the men from the boys. Favorites will rule and the conference championship games next weekend will feature those who we thought would end up remaining afterall. Yeaaa yeaaa Coach Green. Back off. The royalty check is already in the mail.