NBA Some-Stars Game

When the word all is implied, that being with a capital “A”, there are implications. As a fan, I believe “all” the stars should be present in this weekend’s NBA All-Star Game. But like politics, people have to get paid, and when people have to get paid, the face, smile, and celebrity of an individual wins out. This is the reason a man like Burt Reynolds was one of the most sought after actors of the 80’s. His thick molester mustache and pepper black chest hair peeking from a pasty mayonnaise chest, was not only the it-thing at the time, but down right sexy. Paaaleeeze!

In today’s cotton candy world, both hollywood and sports stars are interchangable. The incestuous relationship between the two has tainted the NBA’s mid-classic, one filled with amazing memories of the leagues true stars battling it out for supremacy and the right to call themselves not only stars but superstars.

Which according to Andy Stevensfrom fansmanship.com, is the reason the “boring” though best power forward in hoops Kevin Love, nearly missed out.  20 and 10 for Love is like tying his shoes. He’s the first player to go for 30 and 30 (that is not a typo) in 28 years. And yet had it not been for the blessing of Yao’s injury prone career; curse rather if you are talking to the Rockets front office, K-Love would of better known as a christian radio station.  The guy is so methodical in his approach toward the game that he rebounds without jumping. Why? He is smarter than any other forward in hoops, and knows that 80% of the time the ball will carom to the opposite side in which it was shot from. Not only has this approach made him the best rebounder in basketball (15.5 per), but wisely conserves his energy and his knees, which in the end increases his longevity.

“BUT HE IS NOT FLASHY OR PRETTY ENOUGH!” Pretty? Since when do NBA stars have to be pretty or hollywood made? And since when did Paris Hilton have a say in things anyways?

Unfortunately a player like Love is too Beethoven. His ability to out-think individuals is boring, like watching Bobby Fischer dominate a 70- something Russian man at a game of chess. Where are the Jay-Z’s? T.I’s? Lil Weezy’s? Why listen to the abrupt pause and finishes of a Beethoven, when we can stimulate our cultures sub-par brain with cheep beats and kindergarten hooks?

Which is exactly the reason our pop culture is to blame for everything; we are insightfully deaf and dumb. Like Dumbo we sail with our ears instead of slicing skies with intellectual jet-planes. We’re more intrigued when candy chewing L.O.blows a kiss to Khloe Kardashian than we are when Love records another twenty rebound night on an over-hyped big, i.e. Andrew Bynum.

“But Andrew, your dimples remind us of an innocent school boy.” Really pop world?

Love is the better version of our eras Kevin McHale, a guy who won three titles in the 80’s with the Celtics, on a team of forgettable- boring- athletes.  McHale and the Celtics were self-less back country farm boys who graced sports with less one dimensional athleticism, than they did a team oriented intellectualism.

Instead we get Lamar Odom because his swag aloofness is adorable. Or Yao, because he’s the face of an entire nation (which by the way is ridiculous, if this is the case, vote in Eduardo Najera.) Next thing you know, Lil Bow Wow, who currently plays ball at USC, will be the first college athlete voted into a professional mid-classic.

In the end, who gives? It is only the game of some-stars. Kobe? Of course. LeBron, Wade, Durant? Without a doubt deserve it. Let them steal the show, literally, percolate desire from fans with about as much intelligence as Sarah Palin’s economic plan. When the game ends, K- Love will go back to shutting up every critic on the planet. You can count on that.

–Luke Johnson