Six is The Magic Number?

Last week, the Big West announced its 2015-16 Big West Men’s Basketball pre-season rankings.  At the top of the rankings, for good reason, is UC Irvine.  The Anteaters are coming off a 21-win season and return the Bruiser from Britain, Luke Nelson (please note this is not his actual nickname) and Mamadou N’Diaye, the 7-6″ Wall of Insanity (again, not his actual nickname), both named to the pre-season all-conference team.  The Mustangs find themselves ranked sixth, above Cal State Northridge and UC Davis (tied for #7), and Cal State Fullerton at the bottom.  So while six seems like bad place to be, I would like to argue that six can sometimes be pretty awesome.

I mean, let’s just stay in the world of sports, and obviously when you think of the number 6, you think of one person, and one person only.  He was a champion, he played for one of the most storied franchises in sports, and he was synonymous with winning and class.  I am, of course, talking about two time NBA champion with the Los Angeles Lakers, Adam Morrison.

Adam Morrison wore number six for the Lakers and he has a title. It’s just science. By Davej1006, via Wikimedia Commons

We all remember that one game, and that one time when he did that one thing on the basketball court, and who forget that OTHER time when something happened that he was involved in.  Also, there’s Derek Jeter, who is sixth all-time in Major League history in hits.

But the famous 6’s don’t end with Stache and the other guy.  Julius Erving was #6, current Lakers guard Jordan Clarkson currently wears #6 (until they retire it for Morrison), and of course, Hall of Fame center, Patrick Ewing, wore #6…for the Orlando Magic.

The sixes don’t end in the world of sports.  Let’s talk about some of the great sixes in cinema.  Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country made us all forget the insanity that was Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  Fast Six is the one that brought The Rock into the franchise.  But if you wanna see the biggest parallel between the Mustangs and another number six, one needs to look no further than the magic that is Police Academy 6: City Under Siege.

I know, I know. This is my first post, and it seems like am trying to get kicked off the internet, but just bear with me, and I am pretty sure I can convince you that I am insane..I mean, a genius. Okay, so the Mustangs have been ranked sixth in the Big West Preseason poll despite returning three starters, including David Nwaba who is from Los Angeles, where coincidentally, is where Police Academy 6 was shot, and all-Big West Second Team selections Brian Bennett, and Ridge Shipley.  These are your veterans, the people that you can count on, much like Hightower, Tackleberry, and Jones. These guys have been through a bunch of battles together.  Some highs.  For the Mustangs, the 2014 NCAA Tournament, and for the coppers, the first Police Academy is a legit comedy classic, and all the work they did turning average citizens into C.O.Ps (Citizens on Patrol).

Some lows. The Mustangs loss to UC Davis in overtime on National TV was tough, and I don’t think that the Police Academy will ever fully recover from the inexplicable loss of one Carey Mahoney, who after helping start the aforementioned C.O.P. program, was suddenly missing for their next assignment, Miami Beach.  

The team missed him so much they never even discussed him being around. It’s was if he never existed.  In fact, the Police Academy gang is so shaken up by the loss of Mahoney, that when a new guy arrives, Commandant Lassard’s nephew, Nick, who is clearly just trying to be the new “Mahoney” while in Miami, no one even bats an eyelash.  So, needless to say, tough loss.  However, it is through these veterans that give both the sixth-seeded Mustangs, and the sixth version of the Police Academy, give them a good base for the start of their story.

Which brings me to my next point, the story. Now, one would think that the sixth film in a franchise would not have much of a plot, well, that is where you are wrong my friend. Police Academy 6 introduces a completely different, totally new plot never seen in the Police Academy movies…since the second one.  Basically, there is a criminal mastermind, literally called the “Mastermind”, who is orchestrating a series of robberies all over the city, perpetrated by the Wilson gang, and Commandant Lassard is given the assignment of tracking the “Mastermind” down.  He gets a bunch of his guys together, and then hilarity ensues.

Well, I think it goes without saying that head coach Joe Callero is Commandant Lassard (although, I can safely say that he is about 4,000 times smarter than the aforementioned Commandant), and the Mastermind is everyone who thinks that this Mustang team is not going to be any good. The media is trying so very hard to keep the mighty Mustangs from rising to the top of the Big West, much like no one thought Lassard’s men and women would be able to stop the Mastermind from tormenting the city (or putting the city “under siege” if you will). Well, as we all know the Police Academy gang , was able to stop the Mastermind and save the city. Time will tell if the Mustangs will be able to do the same.

Now one final point that I want to bring up, since no one is asking, is a lot of people would say that Police Academy 6: City Under Siege is a really bad film. In fact there is this website where they take all of the reviews that a film receives and then creates an aggregate percentage score for that film, and that website did give Police Academy 6 a 0%.  However, this same website also shows that Police Academy 4,5,6, and 7 (yes, there is a Police Academy 7 my friends) all have a 0%.

So, just because someone says something is the worst, doesn’t mean that it’s true. If those four movies are all statistically the worst, then each film on it’s own, by definition can’t be the worst, because they can’t all be the worst, only one can (I’m totally insane I know). And for the sake of this piece, let’s say the worst is the seventh Police Academy. Therefore, just because someone, or some poll or website, ranks you low, it doesn’t mean that you are the worst. You hear me Mustang fans?!  Now, let’s get ready for the season, by watching Police Academy 6!

Also, the director’s name is Peter Bonerz. Just saying.