The Alliance of American Football

Hey folks – 

Long time, no talk. You good? Cool. Me too. I watched this new football league over the weekend. It’s called the Alliance of American Football, and it’s a new spring football league that is looking to buck the failed traditions of the United Football League, the XFL, the World League of American Football, the USFL, etc., and so on, and so forth. Now, I had intended to write about what I saw with this new league on Monday with a full detailing of what worked well (the pace, the lack of kick-offs, and some surprising quarterback play) and what didn’t (the app, the Memphis Express’ offense). However, I got violently ill on Sunday, and then had to take my daughter to the hospital for abdominal pain (turned out she just had to fart), so I am a little behind the times. So, instead of doing a week one review and recap of the new league on a Thursday, I am going to preview Week 2 games, which will include some details of Week 1. Cool? Cool.

Salt Lake Stallions (0-1) at Birmingham Iron (1-0), Saturday, February 16th, 11am 

Last week, the Birmingham Iron defeated the Memphis Express 26-0, all without Luis Perez throwing the ball into the end zone, so it’s tough to say if the Iron are that good, or were the Express that bad (The Express were pretty bad). I feel like it’s more the former, but I don’t want to fully say that the Iron are good yet, and this weekend will help with that. Birmingham does have a good defense. I mean, you can’t shut a team out at ANY level if you don’t have some talent, and quarterback Luis Perez, whose story leading up to this league is incredible, showed that he can play quarterback (again even though he didn’t throw a touchdown). So, I think Birmingham may be good, but I am not sure yet. Also, I was fairly ill watching the game as well, so who knows? Salt Lake will be a good test for Birmingham. Salt Lake, until their starting quarterback, Josh Woodrum, went down, was playing pretty well against the Arizona Hotshots (the leagues clear best team in Week One) in their 38-22 loss, and have some offensive tools in Matt Asiata. With Salt Lake, the question is are they a good team or are the Hotshots a great team?  So this game is basically boiling down to, which team is actually good or just a football shrug emoji.

Prediction: I closed my eyes and pointed at a team, and it came back Birmingham

Arizona Hotshots (1-0) at Memphis Express (0-1), Saturday, February 16th, 5pm

If you have read this far into this piece, than you know that Arizona scored a lot of points last week, and Memphis scored none. Let’s dive a little deeper. Arizona’s quarterback John Wolford threw for four touchdowns and was named the AAF Offensive player of the week, while Memphis’ quarterback was 10-23 for 87 years, no touchdowns (again, the team scored 0 points), and one interception. Having watched both of these teams play in their first games, again where one team scored 38 points, and the other team scored 0 points, look for the Arizona Hotshots to score a lot of points. Pay attention to the fact that not only did Memphis not score any points, but their defense also gave up 26 points the previous week. You’re welcome for the advanced analytics.

Prediction: Arizona scoring more points than Memphis

Orlando Apollos (1-0) at San Antonio Commanders (1-0), Sunday, February 17th, 1pm

Yay, two teams I haven’t talked about yet, and it’s a battle of unbeatens! (air horn sound, air horn sound, AIR HORN SOUND). Orlando went off on the Atlanta Legends to the tune of 40-6, and San Antonio beat the San Diego Fleet (stay tuned for a scorching Fleet vs Legends preview) 15-6. Orlando won big, and San Antonio won small, so how do these two teams match up? Not sure, I am comedian, who sometimes writes about alternative football leagues (btw, I am a HUGE fan of alternative football leagues). However, I can tell you what I saw from these two teams last week, and I saw one team that had no problem moving the ball all over the field, and even had some trick plays (please see what has already been called the “Orlando Special” by Apollos Head Coach Steve Spurrier, yes, that Steve Spurrier), and I saw another team, that moved the ball pretty well, but had a hard time getting the ball in the end-zone. Both teams had good quarterback play, Logan Woodside for San Antonio and Garrett Gilbert for Orlando, and the both have good defenses (read above about how they both held their opponents to just six points). This is probably the game of the week in the AAF. Maybe in all of sports. No, just the AAF.

Prediction: Spurrier wears a visor. Orlando wins a close one.

Atlanta Legends (0-1) at San Diego Fleet (0-1), Sunday, February 17th, 5pm

Okay, in the Sunday Night Football slot, we have two teams that only score 6 points each in their previous games. However, if you watched both games, and I did, because again, ill on Sunday. Also, side note, the games move very fast (around 2 and a half hours), so they are easy hangs. Anyway, if you watched both games, you saw that San Diego was very much in the game, they just didn’t even attempt to protect to the quarterback as former starting quarterback Mike Bercovici was sacked three times. He also threw two interceptions, and he also had a hard time picking up the blitz. (I am sure you saw this). These plays aside, the Fleet have a new quarterback, Philip Nelson, and a running back that I am a fan of, Ja’Quan Gardner. Now, the Atlanta Legends, looked like a team that put up six points, but was never really in the game (reminder, they lost by 34 points), and of the six point scoring Week One teams, I would say that they seem to have a long way to go, on offense and defense. They have some names in the backfield in Tarean Folston from Notre Dame and Denard Robinson from Michigan, but not a lot to show for it. San Diego has some players on defense, and this will probably be another long night for Atlanta. Or a long, two and a half hours.

Prediction: The PA system at SDCCU Stadium is gonna suck (because it does), but the Fleet power through it.

That’s it! Check back with me on Monday to see if I killed it!