The 5 Most Obnoxious Fan Bases in California

Plastic props and face paint, making Raider Nation the most ridiculous fan base in California. By BrokenSphere (Own work), via Wikimedia Commons

It’s obvious why Raider Nation is the most annoyingly destructive dress up party in California: A nation where skull-headed silver and black wackos drunkenly throw beers, curse and shank opposing fans with their straws. Every wannabe-hoodlum drops the baggie jeans and the side-cocked hat, replacing them with face paint and cheesy plastic side props. I’m all for the camaraderie threaded between like-minded fans, but when that fandom becomes a burlesque side show flashing gang signs and grills, it begins to get a little too weird.

2. Los Angeles Lakers

Becoming a Laker fan is a laissez faire decision. It is like being born into a wig-wearing aristocracy, where you sip soup with your silver spoon, and dance in one-of-a-kind clogs.  It’s just too damn easy. And yet Laker fans are still this annoying?

Not annoying because they win championships, but annoying because they complain, mope and point the finger at everyone else like a bunch of spoiled brats, if they don’t.

And if you don’t side with the Lakers, guess what you are? You’re a Laker Hater— the most adolescent tongue-sticking term coined by any fan base ever. Last I checked, most of us grew up and became secure enough in ourselves, not to use over simplified slander in order to be heard. But I guess that’s something Laker fans still have to learn. And oh, by the way, LeBron James is the best player post-MJ. Just sayin’.

3. USC Trojans

The University of Spoiled Children is a place where backroom deals are done like no other. From the Reggie Bush scandal  to the deflated balls incident, the Southern California Spoiled Children continue to soil their name with little to any moral remorse. And despite this, their fanbase blindly follows suit with a passion as persistent as any.

There is a time when as a fan, it is okay to walk away. My wife’s boss for instance: a longtime Dodgers fan, who after the brutal attack on Brian Stow, turned to the Giants as his new team of choice.

Maybe it is the tanning oil causing such defunctory? Maybe it is the madness of Southern California smog-infestation? Maybe it is the effects from large doses of botox bugging the brain? Whatever it is, it is hard to take serious any school like the Trojans. Each and every year the ridiculous gets more ridiculous.

4. San Diego Chargers

This ranking probably throws you off a bit. And I understand why. But anytime fans come out from the fringes when their team suddenly becomes a consistent competitor, irks me to no end. Where were you when your team was a joke?

If there was a ranking for most fickle fan in all of sports, I would rank the Chargers numero uno. I have always said that Ladainian Tomlinson literally saved the Chargers franchise by electrifying a lazy uninspired fan base into sudden outrageously inconsistent diehards.

5. San Francisco Giants*

Honestly, I had no problem with Giants fans until 2010, when it became sexy and cool to be so. Being an Angels fan made it easy for me, as I was suspended above the heated rivalry shared between Dodgers and Giants fans.

I grew up around my friends’ fathers who were lifelong fans of the Giants, and not because it was hip or cool. These men lived hours from San Francisco and told stories about greats like Willie Mays. They were far from cool. They were working men, wearing trucker hats with oil stained on their hands.

The new era Giants fan cocks a hat sideways, like a clown, and calls him/herself a real fan. Two world series in three years and being born in the Bay Area is all of a sudden a silly equation for one’s authenticity.

*My wife believes this ranking belongs to the Dodgers, because Dodger fans “kill people.”