Four Things I’ve Learned about the NFL During the Past Four Days

What I learned about the NFL during the past 4 days:

A HANDSHAKE ISN’T ALWAYS JUST A HANDSHAKE

Jim Harbaugh is not going to win any sportsmanship awards and Jim Schwartz is not going to back down. And why do we have to add “gate” to everything. “Handshakegate?” Really? Seriously? Come on Mort and Schefter. This kind of 24-hour NFL news cycle is what makes me want to never watch anything NFL-related unless it’s Sunday or Monday. See you next weekend, ESPN.

THE RAIDERS THINK THEY CAN WIN RIGHT NOW

Giving up the draft picks they did for Carson Palmer sure showed a lot of confidence in the rest of the players on that team, minus anyone whose position is “quarterback.” This could either go really well or really bad. Either way, the Raiders are relevant for now. Al Davis wouldn’t have had it any other way. Just win baby.

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE PLAYING THE DOLPHINS TO MAKE YOUR TEAM LOOK WAY BETTER THAN IT IS

The Jets are really bad. They beat the Dolphins, but really the Dolphins are horrible. If you want your team or a player to look good, play the Dolphins.

That being said, Mark Sanchez’ offense had 4 straight “Three and Outs” to start the game on Monday night — evidence that the Jets are probably also mediocre at best. In fact, during Monday night’s “game,” I found myself switching to Big Bang Theory re-runs. I couldn’t figure out which was less entertaining.

Tim Tebow has to be licking his chops. This week’s game in Miami could be epic for Tebow and his devoted followers.

NEWS FLASH: RELIABLE REX ISN’T THAT EXACTLY…

Rex Grossman has proven over the past few weeks that he’s never really comfortable in the pocket. The poor decision-making that he made famous in Chicago got him a seat on the bench for the upcoming week’s game. John Beck will have a chance to try to prove he has a little more of what Grossman clearly hasn’t ever had: moxy. Like Tebow, Beck will start against a downtrodden opponent. The Panthers aren’t as bad as the Dolphins, but their defense belongs in the “far from good” category.