It is news that means rather little to your life, that is, unless you believe Susan Lucci to be the greatest actress since Faye Dunaway.

According to Manny Ramirez, he and past teammate Johnny Damon, “are back.”

Back from what? Last I checked both had become irrelevant, and overpaid. Back in Beantown? Not a chance. Back together? Absolutely. Do I hear the making of a Brokeback sequel?

Today Johnny Damon knotted a one year, 5.25 million dollar contract, and Ramirez, a one year, 2 million dollar deal with the crumbling Devil Rays.  They join a solid pitching rotation, boasting the likes of David Price, and do it all third basemen in Evan Longoria.

Any other off-season, signing two veterans like Ramirez and Damon would only strengthen your team. Both have won World Series’, and know what it takes to get there.  But this off-season, is not your normal off-season for the Rays. They’ve watched many of their central components go elsewhere. The biggest of these, Center fielder Carl Crawford, a rare breed of both speed, defensive prowess, and occasional power. Last year the star hit .307, with 19 homers, and 90 runs batted in, and over the last 8 years,  has averaged 50 stolen bases, making him the most sought after base stealer in the league. He was the set-up for a team in the top five in every major offensive category. Not to mention, a fan favorite, a guy who had built a name for himself in the Rays small market. Crawford’s positive locker room presence will be sorely missed for a team with a long list of young players. His nine seasons with the Rays, made him the longest tenured player on the club. Drafted in 1999, in the 2nd round, Crawford had stayed true blue to the organization that believed in him first; so losing him, is like losing your heart.

Another missing piece this season, will be first baseman Carlos Pena. Pena, who inked a one year deal with the Cubs, is best known as a defensive-minded first baseman, but also, a guy who can hit the long ball. Over the last four years, Pena has belted 144 homers, giving the Rays legitimate pop in the middle part of their lineup. He and Longoria were the pieces looked at to drive in runs, and create pitching problems for the opponents in the later innings. Now that Pena is gone, Longoria will have to pick up more of the slack–which  can lend itself to burn-out, then a few poor years, and ultimately a young player who never fully blossoms into the kind of player he could have become.

The burden is not only felt in the lineup. It is also felt on the pitching side of things. Losing Middle-reliever Juaquin Benoit to the Tigers, may not sound as serious as it is. But Benoit was the go to middle guy, who held opponents to a .147 batting average. He was the guy who kept things close if Price, Davis, Garza, or Shields had an off-night.

So let the Soap Opera begin.

Whether we want to admit it or not, Ramirez can still hit. The problem has never been getting one of the greatest hitters this league has ever seen to hit the ball out of the park, or drive in runs. It has always been his focus, his wayfarer attitude, his incessant need to spout ridiculous comments in the media; comments like “we’re back.”

Since being dealt to the Dodgers in 2008, Ramirez legacy has been severely tainted. After an incredible second half with L.A. in 2008, when the future Hall of Fame out-fielder hit .396, with 17 homers and 56 RBI, Ramirez spent a quarter of 09′ on the bench with both a league suspension, and a quandary of random injuries.  His sudden decline was not physical, rather a mental paradigm made of a growing disconnect between Manny, the man with 555 career home runs, and little “m” manny: the hippie, off-beat, Ricky Williams of Baseball.

The funniest thing about Manny Ramirez is the dude could hit the ball with one eye, high on cocaine. The last 100 games of 09′, the star hit .290, with 19 home runs, and 63 RBIs. He then came into training camp in 2010, with a bad attitude and a misery of peculiar injuries. Despite playing only 63 games with the Dodgers the first half of 2010, he hit .311. But when is enough, enough? When the Dodgers grew tired of little “m” manny, they gave him away to the Chicago Whitesox, where he played the most uninspired baseball of his life. It was like watching Bob Marley swing a bat with his dreads, then as he whiffed, do an Irish jig in a mini skirt.

Now that we are primed for 2011, to watch the high-on-self Ramirez, play his former team the Red Sox, 25-30 times, it will be an intriguing process to wait for Ramirez’s self-destruction, and his flammable comments in the media. I wonder what the small-town Rays will think of a figure like Ramirez, a man who finds little value in anything but to bother others with his naturally-lazy- ability to hit the baseball.

I hate saying it, but Ramirez is arguably the best hitter on the Rays. Yet as always, it will be a waiting game, as we determine which Manny will show. If big “M” decides to rear his mysterious head, another 40 homer, 125 RBI season, could be in the making. And sadly for a guy like the hardworking Longoria, he will probably be swallowed by the belly of a man who has always been able to steal the show from the just about everyone he comes in contact with.  But even if he does, it does not mean we will see a repeat of the 2010 Rays, a team of role guys, willing to sacrifice for every bit of their American league best 96 wins. With a pick-up like Manny, you know for every loss of a ‘w’, a willing television agency will be knocking on your door, asking to create a T.V. show based upon your life.

And sadly, in today’s sports world, money talks.

*Note that I am aware I did not talk about Johnny Damon in this article. And let me ask you, considering the brittle, overrated, thirty seven year old “has been”… do I really have to?

—Luke Johnson