Holy cow.

I am usually not one to comment on some fan’s random YouTube video, but this one was too compelling to dismiss.

I showed it to my friend, the Redskins fan. Here was his response:

“That is SO many different kinds of awesomeness.”

First off, try to get through it. If you can.

So there’s lots to digest and break-down here. Like Ron Jaworski dissecting a young quarterback’s play, so too will I dissect this woman’s video.

If you go to Redskins training camp, you might see a bunch of players standing around like this not signing autographs. It would be OK to not cry about it. By Keith Allison from Owings Mills, USA, via Wikimedia Commons

The first question, though, is who goes back the their car and tapes themselves crying like this. This video is a plea for help and I hope this woman gets some help. That being said, here goes:

(0:03) “I just spent all day at Redskins training camp for nothin’.”

OK. That actually sounds like a fun time to me, and I’m not even a ‘skins fan. Seriously. If someone said to me, “Owen, it’s a Saturday, you’re off work, and Redskins camp is around the corner. Let’s go check it out,” I would almost definitely go. Watching great athletes ply their trade is an interesting thing in any setting, especially those that you don’t see on TV. Watching any of my favorite teams at training camp for a day would be even more fun. So this lady must not be a Redskins fan?

(0:09) “I’ve been here since 6:30 this morning. It’s like 12:00.”

OK. Let’s stop there. Now you’ve contradicted yourself. You’ve been there for 5 1/2 hours, but I don’t know that that constitutes “all day.” Perhaps it constitutes “all morning,” but probably not “all day.” The whine in her voice over the course of nine seconds is pretty incredible too. I already pity her.

(0:17) “And all I wanted was an autograph but I couldn’t even get that. No players even came to where I was standing.”

Sounds like you weren’t standing in the right place. I bet you could have asked someone where the right place was to stand and increased your autograph chances that way. If you were there since 6:30 and all you wanted was an autograph, then I would imagine that you would have had that opportunity at some point.

(0:30) And now we’ve established that it was up to the Redskins organization to make sure that fans like you have autographs?

(1:00) We’ve heard lots of crying, sobbing, and sad, sad anger. She is blaming the Redskins for “doing this to their fans.” What have they actually done? Not made their players go out the wrong exit from the field?

(1:10) We’ve established (multiple times) the following points –

1) She’s been a fan her whole life

2) She got here early and waited a long time

3) She just wanted an autograph

3a) She didn’t care whose autograph

(1:21) GAME CHANGER – She was on one side. “Right in the front.” And all the players went to the other side with fans who had just arrived. How could they!?

I don’t want to pile on too much here. I think there’s a great lesson to be learned though. It’s a lesson I learned as a 10 year old at Dodger Stadium. Here goes:

If the only marker of whether a trip to an event like training camp was successful was whether you got an autograph, stay home.

If you are really a fan, then you should be able to watch practice and feel OK about it. It definitely sucks that you didn’t get an autograph, but here’s what you probably did get a chance to do:

* Watch guys tiptoe through raised, string-based hopscotch lines.

* Get closer than you ever will at FedEx Field, though I doubt you even go to any actual games.

* Observe lots of players who will not be on the roster during the upcoming year.

* See some of the best athletes in the world – the top one percent of one percent – apply their craft.

* Get an inside glimpse into Mike Shanahan’s practice. I think this is probably the most interesting one and is something that any true adult Redskins fan might be interested in.

Instead, you probably:

* Stood in the front row, blocking other patrons’ view.

* Tried to talk to/ bother the players during their practice time

* Payed no attention to what was actually going on

* Only were interested in an autograph, failing to recognize the fact that it was a beautiful day, you were out with the Redskins on a work day, in a pretty rare environment for you, the public, to be allowed into.

I wonder if anyone else was there on this fateful day. I’d love to hear from someone who has actually been to Redskins training camp recently. It’s free to go there by the way.

From the Redskins website Training Camp FAQ’s:

Following practice, Redskins players and coaches will be made available to sign autographs and take pictures with fans, schedules permitting. There is no guarantee that you will have an opportunity to receive autographs during training camp.  The Washington Redskins Cheerleaders will also be making appearances and signing autographs during training camp.

What should she have done differently, aside from massively building her expectations up for Redskins training camp being an autograph bonanza for everyone who came out to watch?