Dianne efforts toward a pass. With her “arm-sized chopsticks.” By Dan Kavanaugh

I got my start in coed two-hand touch football about a year and a half ago, and never played a day in my life before then. Now I’ve been the captain of teams in two different leagues, and every season I seem to run into the same problem; recruiting other girls to play. I think that’s a shame, because few other activities give you a) an easy way to stay active b) opportunities to meet tons of new people and c) a perfectly acceptable excuse (recreational sports) to drink during the day in your sweats, all at the same time. I swear, with no trace of facetiousness, that it’s the best time a girl can have on the weekend! If I have intrigued any of you ladies with the idea of joining a coed social football league (or soccer, volleyball, Quidditch, just pick your poison), a few pieces of advice:

1. Stick with it, even when you get hit in the face by the football. Most girls think they can’t join a league because they’ve never played football before. In reality, they’re in almost the exact same boat as pretty much every other girl I’ve met playing recreational sports. The difference is the willingness to put yourself out there and look a little bit like an idiot while you’re learning the game. The first pass I was thrown in my first game ricocheted off the ground and hit me in the face. It stung a little, but mostly it was wildly embarrassing. I promise that your first experience probably will not be that bad. And even if it is, just remember to lighten up and laugh at yourself! It’s a virtue. But slowly and surely, if you keep showing up and allow yourself to be coached by your teammates, you’ll get better. I still look like I’m catching passes with arm-sized chopsticks sometimes, but at least now I catch them more often than not.

Good times with good teammates! What could be better?

2. Steer clear of the super competitive agro males. You’ll notice when meeting your teammates and other people in the league that there are a lot of dudes. It makes sense, since dudes love playing football. If you’re a single lady, this is awesome. But it can also be a little overwhelming. So many options for dating! The first guy to catch your eye will probably be the good-looking alpha male who scores all your team’s touchdowns. But he has a dark side. He’s the type of guy who tells you to walk it off and keep playing when you twist your ankle, and stalks off without saying goodbye to anyone when the team loses. Don’t be fooled by his athletic build and surprisingly impressive ability to make one-handed catches. He’s a jerk who is only going to break your heart. Instead, look out for the guy who patiently explains to you for the third time how to run a route and doesn’t yell at you when the girl you’re defending on the other team makes the touchdown catch to win the game. He’s the one who is more likely to be a keeper off the field.

3. Just have fun. Sure, once you really get into this football thing, playing well and winning the game is a lot of fun. But inevitably, sometimes you’re going to drop a pass, blow a defensive assignment, and/or lose the game. It’s not the end of the world. At the end of the day, no one is graduating from this to the pros. But you’re all going to the bar afterward for a couple of drinks and a few games of flip cup, and that’s where everyone wins. Perspective.

This is what Luke missed the podcast for? By Kyruiter at en.wikipedia, via Wikimedia Commons

In the latest Fansmanship Podcast, Andy and Owen sat down with two fansmanship writers from southern California — Matt Levine and Dianne Tanjuaquio. We talked NBA mostly, with some Dodgers and Warriors fansmanship as well. It was great to get to know Dianne and Matt a little better and you can expect to see them on future podcasts. In other news, Luke went to get a truck and got sufficiently chastised for it. Enjoy.