Blessed with the wing span of a seven foot center, height at 6’10, the dribble game of a point guard and fluidity and body motion of a left handed George Gervin, Odom continues to self destruct and combust his NBA career with carelessness. The man is best-suited for reality television and Jenny Craig commercials, as he arrived this season, lackadaisical, pudgy and twenty pounds too heavy.

Heading into camp disenchanted with the sudden sweep of his services from sunny Los Angeles to down-home Dallas, Odom’s took a lesser bench role minimizing the possibility of a follow up to the 10-11’ campaign, his best to date. It does not take a brilliant mind to see clearly, the slack-jawed dope’s disinterest with hard work and maturity. During a career that began in the 1999 draft as clearly the most touted young prospect to enter the NBA ranks since Tim Duncan in 1997, Odom has lazily mustered a decent run out of what critics used to describe as astronomical natural talent. The one and done do-gooder withstood ongoing attacks from media during his college years (citations for marijuana use), with his natural god-gifted ability to command attention and paralyze a defense with a utilitarian style of play.

Most impressive were his comparisons to Earvin “Magic” Johnson, who also side-stepped off court tangles with a strong sense of leadership while in college. Odom, a one man show at mid-major University of Rhode Island, created quite a sway of delight with his involvement of his lesser dynamic teammates, leading a surprising URI team to the March Dance in 1999 as a devilish dark horse candidate. It was there, the quiet and sometimes aloof forward collected his comparisons and teased NBA scouts with the one-of-a kind intangibles of his services.

Without question, Odom was the most talented of any player selected in his draft, and entered the NBA on a red carpet. Perhaps it was the early silver spoon that ultimately disintegrated what could have been? Or maybe our computerized cultural environment of text messaging, iPhones, and Xbox 360, created the ugliness of a slothful giant more in love with the make-believe world of created images than the real, living and breathing one with skin?

There is no other musing to best segue the character of Lamar Odom.  I know for the man nicknamed LO, the frivolous list above has attracted his attention more than any notion of star potentiality, and that is grossly, grossly sad. He clearly was/is not hardwired with a hall of famer’s fight for perfection, and has been unfairly coddled with praise despite the poorest of work ethics.

His NBA 2K12 self on my Play Station is much more stubborn, strong willed and dominate. It proves how unfairly unstoppable the man is, if only he had the will to decide to put it all together. But the real Lamar Odom is none of those things. Rather, he is poorly-made with a stoner’s apathy and insatiable adolescent craze for children’s candy and late night video games.

Why, God, did you not bless others with his abilities?  He is at his very best when controlled by x, circle, square or triangle button.

Lamar Odom is a packaged product flawed from inception. He’s a jumbled logarithm on a 1080P television twisting and twirling in the air. He is not real. He was as he always is, a wayfarer with no need for direction. He’s an image. Lamar Odom is another unfortunate product of his environment without the fight to invent himself otherwise.

And while Mitch Kupchak bluffs his way through media montages on “foreseen” megadeals on the “near” horizon, the league moves on without Hollyweird and the boy wonder, Bryant.

Last season, clearly his worst in years, Bryant looked human.

His 25.0 points per game were impressive enough to encourage the kingdom to think he’s got another two or three years in the tank. But his paltry 33.2 minutes per game were his lowest since his sophomore season, begging whether or not the heir apparent’s brittle knees can withstand another 164 to 246.

In a recent interview at the Lakers media day, the brash guard admitted his disappointments with the team’s direction. A day or two since the sudden brush off of reigning sixth man of the year, Lamar Odom to Dallas, Bryant clamored, “I don’t like it.”

He continued with a small jab to Kupchak, acknowledging Odom’s worth: “He played lights out. I don’t understand the criticism of reality shows and this, that and the other. I don’t get it. I don’t understand that. He had his best season last season, clearly wasn’t a distraction, and he played his ass off. I don’t get where that comes from.”

And while media members continued to push Bryant in a defensive corner in regards to the sometimes aloof and silly minded forward, Kobe shot back, ” Now I’m just getting pissed off.”

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmYKB5S3nlE

And so should you.

If you find yourself in the thrust of Laker’ fandom, get really pissed off. Lose the admiration and begin your own occupy Staples movement, calling for the heads of upper management. Because either Jerry Buss is losing his mind, or Mitch Kupchak is the modern day Brutus, aiming to ax Bryant’s career into oblivion.

Without Odom you can kiss a shot at Dwight Howard or Chris Paul goodbye.

Odom’s 14 points and 11 rebounds last season off the bench were his cleanest numbers in his decade-long career. And for the first time the do-it-all swing man played with passion on both sides of the ball.

He seemed to be clicking. His becoming attitude was a motivator for the young Andrew Bynum, whose burgeoning attitude and work ethic are constantly in question.

Without Lamar Odom, the Lakers lack that invaluable one-of-a-kind trade chip to tack on the back end of a blockbuster trade with either Pau Gasol or Andrew Bynum. And now, as the team collects their paltry 2nd round draft choice and $8.9 million chunk of change in exchange for Odom, the rest of the league moves proactively forward.

Currently, talks for CP3 have re-landed in Los Angeles, this time with the Clippers. Dwight Howard has turned his attentions back onto a New Jersey- Orlando deal. Even former spark plug Shannon Brown opted for the sunny hot gunning country of Phoenix, Arizona.

Back on the Odom deal, Kobe smarted, “I’m sure Mark Cuban isn’t nixing that trade,” with his usual head nod.

The deal to get rid of Odom was a trade that ultimately made the Lakers worse, stunted their growth in the near future and strengthened the Mavericks with “the best forward trio in the league,” according to Mavs head coach Rick Carlisle.

It makes you wonder what this season will look like.

Remember, it was just four days ago that Pau Gasol’s name was typed out in a three-way deal sending him to Houston.

Whether or not the soft-tempered Spaniard can bounce back is yet to be seen as well. “This is a league that’s becoming more of a business than a sport unfortunately,” Gasol said shyly in a camera interview (below). His beard and baby face averting the obvious insecurity: Where is this team heading?

For Kobe Bryant it is quickly moving backwards while everyone else, including past teammate Lamar Odom, move at least step or two in a positive direction.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqWDrZbMg8E

The short list of elite talent undoubtedly begins and ends with Dwight Howard and Chris Paul. While both would be exceptional homerun additions, acquiring both is for the most part an extremely unlikely prospect due to the amount of swapping chips the Lakers’ current roster possesses. So which superstar would be a better fit for the Lakers’ needs? Which player would fit the best based on what L.A. would be left with after what they would trade away?

Los Angeles’s finest professional franchise has always been about one thing, winning championships and doing it with a dominant big man. Down through the years legends the likes of Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Shaquille O’Neal have lead the Lakers to numerous rings. This makes Dwight Howard an obvious first target for the purple and gold.

Yes, they need help at point guard and yes, an aging Derek Fisher and a meek Steve Blake are not the ultimate answer. But what separates the ideas of trading for Howard or trading for Paul?

First and foremost, Andrew Bynum or Pau Gasol would certainly frontline a package of players going to either Orlando or New Orleans for the services of Howard or Paul.

If you give up Bynum, you need a centerpiece in return. If you give up Gasol for Paul, you will probably be parting ways with Lamar Odom as well, and that scenario would leave a gaping hole at the forward position, a hole that no team with any real championship aspirations could weather and still be considered contenders. That is, of course, unless they got some frontline help in return with Paul.

If the Lakers were to deal a Bynum package for Paul, they would be left with a gaping hole in the middle. Pau Gasol would be left to hold down the middle alone, night in and night out, and let’s face it, that’s not Pau’s game. You would be leaving your only semblance of a big man susceptible to injury or fatigue, especially considering this year’s condensed schedule. Not to mention, this scenario would also go directly against what new coach Mike Brown’s system is based on, not running and gunning and ballet lay-ups, but hard-nosed defense and power offense.

While it is understood that the addition of Paul could do a great deal ignite new coach Mike Brown’s San Antonio Spurs-like high screen-roll and high-post offensive sets, having an all-time great guard like Kobe Bryant makes obtaining Paul all that much less necessary when compared to the prospect of bringing in Howard.

Bryant has showed throughout his career that he can play any role that is needed for an offense to be successful, including ball-handler and facilitator. Just look what Brown was able to do with LeBron James in Cleveland? LeBron is no 6’ 0” jitterbug and he was able to distribute like Magic Johnson. Much could be the same with Kobe Bryant, especially in his aging years.

And while offense racks up win after win in the regular season, anyone with any sense of basketball history understands that defense ultimately wins in the playoffs. We all know Paul can dribble circles around anyone and can get a teammate an open shot as good as anyone in the league. We all know Paul can swipe away a few steals a game. But to compare that idea with the idea of the most dominant inside presence in the league and perpetual defensive player of the year is not even a debate.

The true trump card in the argument however is position scarcity. There are a few point guards in the league with equal or near equal talent level when compared to Chris Paul. Deron Williams may be a better overall point guard. Derrick Rose is the next big thing in the league and can finish better than anyone his size. Rajon Rondo still has upside and can create for others just as well as Paul can. Steve Nash still does everything a point guard is expected to do well and has a few elite years left. John Wall has mount Everest-esqe upside and will rival Derrick Rose as the best point guard in the league in the coming years.

The bottom line – there IS no one in the league like Dwight Howard. And to have that type of advantage at the most scarce position in the league is a fact the Lakers cannot overlook.

So I say roll out the red carpet for Superman 2.0. And CP3, while it would be great for you to join the fold, and any other year a once-in-a-generation type of talent like Dwight Howard wouldn’t be in the picture you would undoubtedly be first on the list.

Don’t settle for courting Mercury when you can lasso Jupiter. But who knows, if there is anyone who can corral an entire solar system, it’s the Lakers.

That is not a typo, and I am sure you are now hyperventilating. Someone call the paramedics!

In fact, that number is so outrageous, you probably think you are reading an article written by Jerry Springer. And maybe Jerry is to blame. Springer and the baby-face of Zac Efron have gotten to the Lakers heads. Add in some saucy Justin Beiber, and the half-naked, Megan Fox, and the Lakers have gone down in the flames of Hollyweird.

Weird, is the perfect word.

With the champs down 3-0 to a hungry Mavericks team, one would expect the survival mechanism to kick in. These are the Los Angeles Lakers, two time defending champs, deeper than anyone in the league, with a nest of proven title warriors. But instead, the fans have been abandoned with the pretty, bop haircut of Drew Barrymore, and are left to fend off the snakes of reality–too old; Kobe not the same; Pau soft; Bynum’s glass knees; No heart; Defensively poor; Fisher needs to fish elsewhere.

Weird, weirdness, weirder, weirdest, weirdizzle.

And while I’m on the topic, Barrymore is a perfect example. One of her first films, Firestarter, an alt-classic with a cultish’ following, features the young Barrymore blazing through American streets with an ability to start fires. She doesn’t know why she does it, accept that she gets enormously pissed off, and bad things happen to really good people.

So get out the gasoline, and start this here barbecue, because a massive roast is about’ to ensue.

Kobe IS FAR passed his prime. It was obvious in today’s game, that the fifteen years on  his thin, lengthy frame, have worn his once spry knees to ancient nubs. He came out red hot, as to be expected, shooting 6-8 in the 1st quarter. But 2-12 for the remainder, with little lift or drive, beckons the question..has his window of dominance closed?

Bynum, a guy getting paid fourteen million dollars on knees of a sixty year old’s, has reasons to smile. He is the most overrated big man in the league, with an ego the size of Texas.

I vote trade his ass to the South Dakota Greg Oden’s.

Pau is shaken by a recent breakup. Wait, a BREAKUP! Can we now consider Vanessa Bryant the new Yoko?

Fisher is now officially crowned with clownsmanship. I am positive Phil had him out there as comic relief, as everytime he threw Terry, Barrea, or Kidd to the ground, he still had it in him to somehow argue the foul call.

The problem with Artest is he is now Sir’ Ronald Artest, and no longer is going by his thug name Ron Ron “Stab a Juggler Vein.”

I think the basketball God hates Steve Blake because he no longer wears a birca.

LO is also the nickname of a former star on the Teeny Bop MTV series The Hills. And we wonder why Lamar is not a star….?

Kloe Kardashian is the 2nd woman in world history to experience immaculate conception. This occured after Luke Walton used the force during a game of Star Wars.

Walton prefers the name Yoda. Kobe prefers to call him Chewy.

Bring Mark”Mad Dog” Madsen” back, and before every game have the guy dance in a tassle embroidered thong.

Maybe this will turn Jeanie Buss on. Either that, or Phil needs to enhance his libido with viagra. Dude is so impartial, he makes a mute begger look like Chatty Kathy.

Flames.

Like Dante’s hell burning up the gloried, the Heat is on, literally.

And Barrymore, who never learns how to gauge her violent skill, is burning down the house (no pun intended).

When trying to capture the overall implications of this most recent trade deadline, one needs to realize that there were a lot of risks taken and futures mortgaged. There hasn’t been a deadline similar to this in recent memory where so many superstars were swapped. Some trades could be honestly questioned. Some made complete sense. Some teams made out and some teams got taken for the proverbial ride. Let’s go ahead and delve into “who, to where, for what and why?”

The headline for months was the much hyped “Melo-drama,” as it was so cleverly described. We couldn’t see that one coming, could we? While ESPN’s Chris Broussard basically conjured the validity of a Carmelo Anthony for Andrew Bynum trade out of thin air, the real competition in the waning days for Anthony’s services was between New Jersey and New York.

It was much publicised that New Jersey was having significant talks with Denver up to about a month ago, when in a display of impatience, Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov nixed all talks between the two. They became the New Jersey “Nyets.” Most thought this was due to Denver simply needing more in return for an Anthony package than New Jersey was willing to give up. The truth of the matter may have been that Prokhorov finally saw the light and realized what was truly going on.

It had been blatantly obvious from day one of all trade discussion that Carmelo wanted to be a New York Knick. He is from New York and saw playing in the Mecca of basketball, Madison Square Garden, as a life-long dream. While the Nets have particular fan strongholds in the New York/New Jersey area, and even though they started vertical construction on their new Brooklyn Barclays Center three months ago, they are no competition for the Knicks as far as the brightly lit stage of the big city of dreams is concerned.

Prokhorov is no idiot. He is the 89th richest man in the world. You don’t find yourself at that level of wealth by getting played by 30-year old team presidents and general managers like Josh Kroenke and Masai Ujiri. He finally came to the realization that the Nuggets were only using trade discussions with his Nets as a leverage play against New York. If New York thought New Jersey was a player and had a legit shot to score Anthony, Denver could trade him to New York, where he was inevitably going to go anyway, for much less than they would have had New Jersey not been in the picture.

All of this front-office analysis aside, what does this trade do for the bottom line of buckets?

The Nuggets parted with a superstar in Anthony, as well as a serviceable point guard, albeit in the sunset of his career, in Chauncey Billups. The less newsworthy of these two players was a significant part of this deal. Billups still can hit big shots, is one of the best veteran leaders in the league, and will mesh with Knicks Coach Mike D’Antoni’s run-and-gun system almost instantly. New York also got throw-in forwards; Renaldo Balkman, who was originally drafted by New York in 2006, and Shelden Williams, whose only note of significance in his meager NBA career has been being the husband of WNBA superstar Candice Parker.  Quite a resume.

The Knicks parted with a young and improving point guard in Raymond Felton, as well as New York sociological attraction, Italian forward Danilo Gallanari. Also headed to the Rocky Mountains are roundly-skilled forward Wilson Chandler and big-man project Timofey Mozgov.

The Nuggets got a full hockey line, but the Knicks got a superstar, a championship-seasoned veteran and two expiring and insignificant contracts. While each team got a lot of what they needed for the point each franchise currently is in their overall process, the advantage still has to go to the Big Apple. A top five superstar is a top five superstar, especially packaged with a solid veteran point guard.  You trade what is needed to be able to acquire these two if you are the Knicks, even if you have to give up your right arm and your first-born to get them.

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A cornerstone and respected leader in this league, Jerry Sloan, retires? The longest tenured coach in the NBA just walks away after twenty-two seasons right in the middle of his twenty-third? Now that all-star point guard Deron Williams has been traded to New Jersey two weeks after this unpredicted turn of events, popular and reasonable belief can only consider two options as to why Sloan walked away. Either Williams did what he could to push Sloan out the door through open defiance simply out of his own choice, or the “bling” in his left ear that should belong on Kate Middleton’s finger whispered to do the same because old man Sloan was cramping his style. Either way, Williams played a part, and I have a feeling Jazz management and ownership saw the writing on the wall. The fact that Williams was going to become a free agent in 2012 only had something to do with his ousting. His attitude and arrogance is what ultimately got him shoved out the door and banished to one of the league’s worst situations.

Not only did Utah get to unload an egotistical malcontent, but they made out with the biggest trade deadline steal in recent memory. Williams may be arguably the most complete point guard in the NBA today, but he is still only one player. Last I checked, Deron Williams can’t pass the ball to Deron Williams.

In return for Williams, the Jazz received a solid point guard replacement in Devin Harris. They also acquired last year’s number two overall pick in the draft, twenty year-old potential-phenom forward, Derrick Favors. Giving up on this kid so soon is seemingly a display of impatient haste by the Nets, is it not?

What a great deal for the Jazz, given there was no way Williams was going to resign with Utah after next season, right? Well, that’s not all they got. Let’s toss in two first-round draft picks, one from the Nets and one from the Golden State Warriors.  Both of these picks could very well be lottery picks, given the foreseeable ineptitude of New Jersey and Golden State in the coming years. Wait, that’s not all? How bout three million in cash for the pocket as icing on the cake? A top ten to fifteen point guard, a number two overall pick who is twenty, two potential lottery picks, and cash?  For one player?  Feliz Navidad, Utah.

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In the most questionable move made when considering the implications of the real race for the ultimate prize this season, Celtics general manager Danny Ainge sent stalwart center Kendrick Perkins to Oklahoma City along with jitter-bug guard Nate Robinson. Wait, I thought Perkins getting hurt during last year’s finals was the sole reason you guys couldn’t get over on the Lakers, Danny?  He is supposedly that important to your team in crunch-time, yet he is this movable less than a year later? Sounds like that excuse back then was just a cry for a crutch, reminiscent of the squeaking from Paul Pierce’s wheelchair brakes. Yes, this trade has now proven that was in fact cow excrement you were smelling from the mouths of New Englanders after the Lakers were celebrating the spoils last year. How does your excuse look now, crybabies?

On the red-eye to the land of “chowdah” comes former Thunder forwards Nenad Kristic and Jeff Green. Green was originally drafted by the Celtics, and was then subsequently traded on a draft-day deal to the then Seattle Supersonics for Ray Allen. Ainge was obviously high on Green that draft, but when given the opportunity to add a sharpshooter like Allen to the centerpiece of Paul Pierce and at the time, recently signed free agent Kevin Garnett, he sold out.

While that move then ended up helping bring a championship to Boston in 2008, Ainge now making the deal for Green reeks of desperation, ego, and a chance at some sort of twisted “I told you so.” When you consider the thought-process of the idea behind the trade, Ainge claiming Green could be the heir-apparent to Kevin Garnett, what he gave up to be able to claim this possibility is borderline comical.  Ainge trading Perkins for Green because he kind of ‘reminds’ him of Garnett is the equivalent of Mitch Kupchak trading Andrew Bynum for Thaddeus Young because he kind of ‘reminds’ him of Lamar Odom. Way to go, Danny. This is the move that people will point to when you are forced out the door in a few seasons.

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As the schedule continues, unflappable to the time needed to digest all the recent changes in the league-wide chemistry, the positioning for playoff seeding will obviously become more heated than it has been to this point. Now comes this very segment we have all been debating for months, and with the shock of these recent moves, questions instantly arise:

Can the Lakers ‘flip the switch’ and make child’s play of the Western Conference like in recent years past?

Is the Spurs’ chase-rabbit record really who they are?  Did regular season records do anything for the Cavaliers the past two seasons? Can unproven playoff role-players like George Hill, Dejuan Blair and Gary Neal become championship-level counterparts?

Does Dallas still even have a seat at the Western Conference table?  Are they to be taken as a serious threat?

Is the addition of Kendrick Perkins the much needed ingredient of inside presence the Thunder need to be an actual and legitimate player in the Western Conference shakedown?

Can the defensive blockade Tom Thibodeau’s Bulls are displaying carry them up to the level of the Eastern Conference elite, and most importantly, carry them in a seven-game series?

Are Dwight Howard and Stan Van Gundy’s mess of wing players even relevant as we come down the finish line?

Will Danny’s Ainge’s ego in trying to prove he was right about Jeff Green cost the Celtics a realistic chance at the title in their now dwindling years near the top? I know this much for sure, Laker and Heat fans are ecstatic about the loss of Kendrick Perkins. The Lakers now hold a distinct size advantage and the Heat now don’t have such a size discrepancy against Boston.

And lastly, as far as the Heat, will the most gravy-trained collection of elite stars in recent memory topple the naysayers? Will they reach The NBA Finals in their first try at conceived and orchestrated glory? Good luck big three. You’re going to have to drag your dirty-dozen along with you en route to a title. The bricks of Mike Miller and James Jones are building a structure of mediocrity thus far for the level of overall talent you have boasted. The Heatles? Give me a break, “King.” Win something, then talk. I’ve never heard of a King who doesn’t have a crown, you paper champ.

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Questions and vemon aside, when all is said and done, the choices made and paths sought at this deadline will effect these upcoming moves as much as they will effect numerous moves down the road. Some teams played for now and some teams played for later.  Playoff-time reveals destiny, and the free will of the trade deadline move-makers plays a major role in the fate of the actual move-makers on the court.  Now that the trade deadline has come and gone, the time to really make your move is upon us.

In today’s cotton candy world, both hollywood and sports stars are interchangable. The incestuous relationship between the two has tainted the NBA’s mid-classic, one filled with amazing memories of the leagues true stars battling it out for supremacy and the right to call themselves not only stars but superstars.

Which according to Andy Stevensfrom fansmanship.com, is the reason the “boring” though best power forward in hoops Kevin Love, nearly missed out.  20 and 10 for Love is like tying his shoes. He’s the first player to go for 30 and 30 (that is not a typo) in 28 years. And yet had it not been for the blessing of Yao’s injury prone career; curse rather if you are talking to the Rockets front office, K-Love would of better known as a christian radio station.  The guy is so methodical in his approach toward the game that he rebounds without jumping. Why? He is smarter than any other forward in hoops, and knows that 80% of the time the ball will carom to the opposite side in which it was shot from. Not only has this approach made him the best rebounder in basketball (15.5 per), but wisely conserves his energy and his knees, which in the end increases his longevity.

“BUT HE IS NOT FLASHY OR PRETTY ENOUGH!” Pretty? Since when do NBA stars have to be pretty or hollywood made? And since when did Paris Hilton have a say in things anyways?

Unfortunately a player like Love is too Beethoven. His ability to out-think individuals is boring, like watching Bobby Fischer dominate a 70- something Russian man at a game of chess. Where are the Jay-Z’s? T.I’s? Lil Weezy’s? Why listen to the abrupt pause and finishes of a Beethoven, when we can stimulate our cultures sub-par brain with cheep beats and kindergarten hooks?

Which is exactly the reason our pop culture is to blame for everything; we are insightfully deaf and dumb. Like Dumbo we sail with our ears instead of slicing skies with intellectual jet-planes. We’re more intrigued when candy chewing L.O.blows a kiss to Khloe Kardashian than we are when Love records another twenty rebound night on an over-hyped big, i.e. Andrew Bynum.

“But Andrew, your dimples remind us of an innocent school boy.” Really pop world?

Love is the better version of our eras Kevin McHale, a guy who won three titles in the 80’s with the Celtics, on a team of forgettable- boring- athletes.  McHale and the Celtics were self-less back country farm boys who graced sports with less one dimensional athleticism, than they did a team oriented intellectualism.

Instead we get Lamar Odom because his swag aloofness is adorable. Or Yao, because he’s the face of an entire nation (which by the way is ridiculous, if this is the case, vote in Eduardo Najera.) Next thing you know, Lil Bow Wow, who currently plays ball at USC, will be the first college athlete voted into a professional mid-classic.

In the end, who gives? It is only the game of some-stars. Kobe? Of course. LeBron, Wade, Durant? Without a doubt deserve it. Let them steal the show, literally, percolate desire from fans with about as much intelligence as Sarah Palin’s economic plan. When the game ends, K- Love will go back to shutting up every critic on the planet. You can count on that.

–Luke Johnson

In the movie’s introduction of The Dude, Sam Elliot’s voice rings out:

Sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man – and I’m talkin’ about the Dude here – sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude. In Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man – and the Dude was most certainly that, quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide – Sometimes there’s a man… Sometimes, there’s a man. Ah, I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I done introduced him enough.

The if you replace the words “The Dude” with “Lamar”, you’d be pretty darn close to how a Lakers fan might introduce him.

Lakers fans first knew Lamar as a Clipper who couldn’t stay out of trouble. He was began his career as a bust: a bad choice for a bad franchise. After four tumultuous seasons with Los Angeles’ also-rans, Odom signed a free-agent contract with the Miami Heat. Although the Odom-Dwayne Wade combination was enticing, the team never was a serious contender.

Miami realized that the need for a strong presence inside and In 2004, Odom was involved in the original Shaq trade (not the watered-down second draft) and came to the Lakers with Caron Butler and Brian Grant. While the Lakers struggled early-on in Odom’s tenure, fans didn’t know what to make of the long, athletic forward with every skill an NBA team could ask for. Some nights, Odom would seem like a talented centerpiece who showed flashes of Scottie Pippen to Kobe’s Jordan. Other nights, Odom would seem like a worse version of a maligned Toni Kukoc; bored and not engaged, puzzling and angering Lakers fans in the process.

The parallels between Odom and the Dude start early-on. Odom was reprimanded by the NBA numerous times for drug use. If The Dude was a real person, Odom probably would have found him during his early years and shared a J – or nine – to, as the dude says, keep his mind limber.

Like the Dude, Odom has an assortment of qualities. While the Dude has a varied background, (avid bowler, roadie for Metallica on the Speed of Sound Tour, and one of the authors of the original Port Huron Statement) Odom has a varied game. He is versatile enough to play outside and long enough to defend and score inside.

While he posessed many Dude-like qualities, Odom was, until he joined the Lakers, without a forceful and dominant personality – a Walter Sobchak figure. When he arrived in Los Angeles, Walter Sobchak (John Goodman’s loud-mouthed, gun toting counterpart to Bridges’ dude) came in the form of a player named Kobe Bean Bryant. Just as The Dude’s laid back attitude needs militaristic and high-strung Walter, so too did Odom need Kobe to keep him on the “righteous” track more often.

While the dude needed Maude as a partner to realize his best thinking and open his mind about the world, Odom may have found his Maude this year in the form of a Kardashian.

While some other character parallels can be drawn such as, Phil Jackson; as the Big Lebowski, Gasol; as Donnie, Artest; as, maybe Knox Harrington (the video artist), none are as strong or interesting as Odom as the dude.

The parallel only runs so far though. Even while he is married and trying to continually build and change his image, his most true basketball self may be as a Dude-like player. The farther he gets away from being the eclectic and free-flowing player he is and the more he cares about what other people think, the less valuable he may be.

Odom has (deservedly) received much praise for his play on the USA National Team over the summer. The reason he was so effective was his attitude on and off the court. It almost bordered on a Manny Ramirez-like blissfull indifference. I’m sure he cared some, but he stayed mentally loose throughout the summer and was more successful than he’s ever been. That play carried over into the beginning of the season. Lately, some of the old Lamar has crept back in at times as he tried to find his role on the bowling team, err. Lakers.

In the NBA and especially with the Lakers, a player has to play a cerebral, team-oriented game. Unlike the Dude, laziness will get Lamar nowhere when it comes to playing a team sport like basketball. While Odom will always have to “fall in” with his teammates, I would argue that the closer he gets to the “I’m comfortable in my own skin and I don’t care what anyone else thinks”, Dude-like attitude – just as he had all summer – the more successful he and the Lakers can be.

Bridges’ character, like Odom, is too eclectic to warrant any one label. Except that he’s the dude. Fans of the Lakers should hope this is one label Odom doesn’t try to shy away from.

The NBA All-star weekend festivities have officially jumped the shark. Not to mention, NBA All-star voting is an absolute comedy, reminiscent of a 3rd grade class presidential election or who gets picked first for dodge ball on the playground (which of course we all know is based solely on who traded what to who at the lunch table).

Who honestly even cares about a system where a perpetually injured Yao Ming is the Western Conference’s starting center? What is “earned” in this process is solely due to the size of your fan-base, be it cult following or entire foreign country. It has nothing to do with pertinent numbers, winning or current relevance. I’m half-surprised Allen Iverson hasn’t recieved a couple million votes this season.

With this bitter diatribe as well as the slanted-eye of Laker-fansmanship aside, I offer my case for Blake Griffin getting an all-star nod over the seemingly undeserved and “popular” pick, Lamar Odom.

Griffin’s 47 points and 14 rebounds a week ago was his twenty-seventh consecutive double-double. Odom doesn’t even have twenty double-doubles on the season, let alone consecutive. 47 points is the league-wide game-high so far for the season and is also something Lamar has never accomplished in his entire NBA career. 47 and the top performance on the season, not bad for a rookie.

Griffin has averaged 22.8 points, 12.9 rebounds and 3.5 assists on the season, and 27.2 points, 14.1 rebounds and 4.3 assists in the past month. Odom has averaged 15.6 points, 9.6 rebounds and 2.9 assists on the season, and 15.1 points, 9.0 rebounds and 2.3 assists in the past month. Not only are Griffin’s numbers substantially better overall in every facet and in any time-frame, he has also improved the past month as Odom has slightly regressed.

Griffin also out-played Odom in their most recent match-up, a Clipper win, in which Odom lost his head with the outcome of the game already decided, when he tossed Griffin to the floor while positioning for the rebound of an insignificant free-throw. Sore losers don’t make good all-stars.

Also scoring points for Griffin is the fact that Lamar comes across as lazy and careless while Griffin is anything but. It seems that with Lamar, there is a particular amount of wasted talent and overall lack of his will, or lack thereof, on the outcome. Wasted talents don’t make good all-stars either.

Odom is part of a two-time champion and helped win gold at the World Championships for his country this past summer. While these feats are highly commendable, they are team triumphs. Let us not reward reasonable players on winning teams simply because they deserve a “life-time achievement” award. Can anybody say Eric Crouch for Heisman?

While you can’t deny Odom’s versatility, the overall malleability of Griffin’s game is something the league hasn’t seen in decades. People are struggling to compare Blake to any power forward of years past. Some have even made the notion that he is only most comparable with Lebron James, due to how extraordinary and ridiculous his overall talent is. The basic fact of the matter becomes: Griffin can only be compared to Griffin, and while Odom is known league-wide as a different breed of player, the way Griffin breaks the mold puts Odom to shame in that regard.

If I may make an analogy in “freak,” Odom is to Randall Cunningham as Griffin is to Michael Vick. Everyone was amazed at how Cunningham broke the mold when he came into the league, one of the first true pass/run threats of the modern era – but when Vick took the league by storm, he took the pass/run quarterback dynamic to a whole new level that Cunningham could never even hope to equal on even his best day. Such is the same with Odom and Griffin.

As I consider all factors, I keep coming back to one important point that must be considered. Lamar’s idea of a meaningful off-day is strolling Rodeo Drive with his wife and having a production meeting for his upcoming “reality” TV show. Griffin’s idea of a productive day is being in the midst of his fifth hour of training and practicing, without his team, on an off-day.

While Griffin’s right hand is stuffed through the rim after an insane dunk, Odom’s right hand, which is non-existent on the hardwood, is stuffed in a bag of candy that has been laid out on the back seat of his limo.

On the subject of stuffing, before we stuff the entire all-star process altogether – make sure to stuff the ballot box with Griffin.

-Andrew Stevens