Almost unbelievably, Rihanna is singing tonight. By Ilikeriri (Own work), via Wikimedia Commons

When I saw the headline on my feed, I did a double-take.

This had to be a headline from The Onion. Or the Koala. This couldn’t be real, could it?

It turns out it was a real headline, from the real-life USA Today: “Rihanna is the Opening Act on Thursday Night Football.”

Incidentally, the game will be played in Baltimore, where Ravens’ running-back Ray Rice and his woman-beating have been the center of the sports discussion universe this week.

I’m sure Rihanna’s appearance has been planned for months. I’m sure Rihanna is being paid handsomely to do it. I’m sure all the people related to the situation have rationalized themselves into thinking that it’s all good.

Still, it’s just one of those things that makes you shake your head and wonder… .

Deer antler spray and gay-bashing are unfortunately the driving headlines leading into Super Bowl XLVII. This is the circus that the Super Bowl “media” ring has become.

Real reporters and analysts asking real questions have been pushed aside in favor of paparazzi and comedians – but I guess this is what Super Bowl media week has always been about – sideshow over substance.

Hearsay about what is realistically the equivalent of popping a few extra vitamins and opinions on social issues have officially engulfed the anticipation of the game itself.  The insignificant and unbelonging are being overvalued.  The news shouldn’t be what football players think about swirling gossip and civil rights.

The “media” sideshow around the Super Bowl has unfortunately taken center stage once again. By National Football League [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Maybe its just me. I suppose I’m only interested in the X’s and O’s, but I assume there are actually people out there that care about all the undercard nonsense? It wouldn’t be driving the media if that weren’t the case? I guess I’ll never come around to the TMZ factor – but then again, I never hope to.

Move to the matchup on the field. What immediately comes to mind when breaking it down?

The difference-maker is undoubtedly Colin Kaepernick.  What he has the ability to do is something no one else that will be taking the field is capable of:  turning something into nothing the majority of his team’s offensive snaps.

And why do I dance around the “something into nothing” factor with the caveat of “the majority of offensive snaps?”  Ray Rice doesn’t take the snap from Matt Birk.  Rice can absolutely put the same type of pressure on a defense that Kaepernick can, but the ball just has to travel further to find him.

Touches, touches, touches.  Rice needs more than 25 throughout the course of the game for the Ravens to be on schedule. Throughout the end of the regular season and into the playoffs, newly-appointed offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell, formerly the head coach of the Indianapolis Colts, has kept Baltimore on-time.

49ers defensive coordinator Vic Fangio is a creative mind that will be more than ready for what Baltimore has already shown they are capable of doing.  The key for Caldwell will be comprising twists and tweaks that haven’t been documented on tape.

Look for the Ravens to have gadgets ready on 1st-and-10 to 2nd-and-ahead situations in the middle of the field.  Don’t rule out a Rice-Flacco-Smith flea-flicker if the opportunity presents itself in an advantageous down and distance with room to work.

Ray Rice will have to be an explosive factor for the Ravens to emerge victorious. By U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Benjamin Hughes/Released [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Two brothers, two sons of a coach, going head to head for the game’s ultimate prize?  Some deeply conceived surprise is bound to unravel.

Now place your mind on the opening kick.

If San Francisco comes out and gets a lead with Kaepernick getting loose, the burden for Baltimore will quickly find its way to Joe Flacco.  Advantage: 49ers.

If Baltimore can control the clock in the 1st half, the groundwork will be laid and the rock will end up lying with Ray Rice in the end instead of Flacco.  Advantage: Ravens.

The other side of the coin?  “God is absolutely AMAZIN’!”

There isn’t a doubt Ray Lewis will have his defense pumped up for one last final pass through the gauntlet.  The motivating factor behind a single galvanizing player being able to inspire an entire team in the ultimate fashion can’t be understated.

That being said, what unfolds on the turf still ends up rising over words in the locker room.  Talent and opportunity fundamentally prevails more than motivational speeches – but I think it goes beyond that to a certain extent.

History and experience on big stages has a better shot of winning out in a game like this.  Top to bottom, the Ravens simply have been there more than the 49ers have.  And when you factor in a complete wildcard like Kaepernick, the potential for him to dominate doesn’t completely cancel out the potential for him to fold under the pressure.  His naivete could superceed his obliviousness in the end.

He might not have known where he was in all of his 10 NFL starts that fill his resume, but I think he will eventually find out where he actually is come crunchtime.  Asking what is essentially a rookie quarterback to finish on the grandest of main-event stages is as “all or nothing” of a bet as it gets.

I’m not really much for predictions.

Ravens 27 – 49ers 23.  Whoops.  Slip of the keyboard.

With the Super Bowl right around the corner, the time of year has returned once again. This particular pocket on the calendar serves as the preparation point that will give way to the onslaught of sport for the year to come.

As we speak, New Orleans is being blitzed and invaded by 49ers fans and Ravens fans alike, not to mention the straight-up football fans and “party fans” that are piling in. It is Bourbon Street, after all.

Even the First Super Bowl Party gets a little loose! By White House (Pete Souza) / Maison Blanche (Pete Souza) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We know the pageantry and performance of the big game won’t disappoint. The annual pinnacle of American sport never lets us down, and even if the scoreboard is lopsided, one of your friends at the party seems to always end up that way as well, making the whole Super Bowl party experience a let-down-free zone.

Pushing all the rif-raf to the peanut gallery, the 49ers open, and will most likely remain, favorites – and with good reason. Colin Kaepernick is a dynamic force that is currently surfing the wave that most young phenoms always seem to – “they don’t even know where they are right now.”

The combination of Colin Kaepernick riding the whitewash of momentum, coupled with his elite, dual-threat ability coming of age right before our eyes, makes the 49ers an extremely dangerous favorite. The 49ers could win by a slim margin or a big margin. This is something you can’t necessarily say about the Ravens.

If the Ravens get over, it will be a ‘Rice, Rice, Flacco to Boldin or Pitta 3rd down conversion’ type of game. The deep bomb to Torrey Smith is something I don’t really see the defense of the 49ers allowing, given the prowlace their two all-pro safeties.  At the same time, I would also be foolish if I didn’t consider the magic a retiring Ray Lewis and his defense seem to have going.  Underdogs can still overachieve.

Analysis of the game aside, the unbridled fun of the Super Bowl also serves as a recognizable signaling of the year to come in all other arenas of sport.

The NBA all-star game is on the horizon, and unfortunately for most fans, the taste of purple and gold is impossible to remove from the palate of NBA water-cooler talk everywhere.

Dwight Howard throw-downs have been few and far between so far this season. By Fido (Flickr: Bucks @ Lakers) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

I know everyone is exhausted with the revolving Laker discussion, but the reason the Lakers continue to hoard the headlines is a reason you rarely equate with this franchise – their ineptitude.

Give me an “A” or give me an “F,” right?  Unfortunately, “F” sells in a huge way, and sadly, sells even more than “A” does – but you can’t blame the Lakers for all the attention they are recieving.  Another main reason the Lakers are hogging print and air waves is because nothing around the rest of the NBA is making waves.

The Heat are dominating in their defense of the title. The Celtics, Knicks and Rose-less Bulls are still nipping at their heels in the East.  Great.

In the West, the Thunder are still running, the Spurs are still lurking, and the Clippers and Grizzlies are still up-and-coming. Great.

Yawn.  Alright!  I’m awake!

Moving on — what or who else looms near this time of year? You got it – everyone’s favorite worst guy ever, the infamous “bracket guy.”

Unrightfully so, no one pays an emphatic amount of attention to the national NCAA basketball scene until March rolls around, but when it does, get ready to throw down your bracket and your bucks.

Cinderellas will be the overlying theme as they always are, and golden chariots will turn back into pumpkins in the end like they always do – but the overall saga of March never comes up short.  One.  Shining.  Moment.  I’m welling up just thinking about it.  No I’m not.

Seamheads are beyond hyped this time of year as well. Everyone is a potential pennant winner in spring training, and pitchers and catchers report in less than a month.

With the Giants coming off another World Series Championship and the Dodgers having huge expectations, the rivalry only looks to get juicier. By andyrusch (http://www.flickr.com/photos/asrusch/5748267516/) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Money, money and more money has morphed a perpetual big-market underachiever into the new West coast version of the New York Yankees. Trading for the gigantic contracts of super stars has given way to monumental stadium renovations for the Dodgers, which will create more revenue, and eventually give way to taking on even more gigantic contracts of super stars.

Moneyball may get you to the dance, but big money allows you to go home with the prom queen in the end. The Dodgers have officially taken on the new face of baseball’s dark side, and will become even more of a polarizing team than they were before.

Spoiler alert: yes, the rebels eventually win in Star Wars, but in baseball the empire always eventually wins in bulk. Blue thinkers finally realizing gold once again could be right around the corner.

From progression to regression – congratulations on almost killing your sport one more time, Gary Bettman. Hockey is back, but now the few casual fans that existed before care even less.

Kings captain Dustin Brown hoists the cup, a trophy of a dying sport. By Eric Chan from Hollywood, United States (DSC00815 Uploaded by JoeJohnson2) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

On a positive note, the Kings raising the banner was beyond due.  It was an awesome run last season and a championship that was well deserved for Kingdom loyalists — but the realistic future of hockey has essentially become a dimming light, one that now can barely even be seen by a telescope in the night sky of the American sporting realm.

It wouldn’t be an all discussion without mentioning eagles and earplugs, two associations about to start the longest campaigns of any professional leagues in the United States. 10 months?  Forget campaigns, try marathons.

There are niches in our sports melting pot that absolutely live for the PGA and Nascar circuits. And strangely enough, they couldn’t be more polar opposites.  Its the quietest sport and the loudest sport.  Its the high-class perception and the low-class perception.  And given the differences, it’s kind of ironic how the hardcore fans of both circuits would probably never get along, yet the 19th hole and the 5th wheel effectively serve the same purpose.  I guess that’s one thing everyone can agree on – booze.

So there it is and here it comes – the great American sporting landscape.  And with all of the anticipation and excitement on the horizon, there’s honestly nothing I can see that could put damper on the cornucopia of sport all of us fans are in line for, could there be?

April 15th. Yea, the smartass went and did it.

Eyes will be glued to flat-screens nationwide for the entire weekend come the first kickoff Saturday afternoon in San Francisco. Rounds of golf will be cancelled. Agendized voyages to The Home Depot and Costco will be shoved aside. America’s dominant sports passion is nearing its penultimate moment. Adjectives attempting to describe will ring in hyperbole and previously planned objectives will mire below the paramount. One item takes precedence over everything this time of year: the NFL Divisional Playoffs are a can’t-miss – a must-see.

New Orleans @ San Francisco, Saturday @ 1:30pm PST, FOX

“Supposed” unbiased on-lookers seem to tab the Niners as the “most complete” team in the playoffs. I need coke-bottle specs to be able to focus on that description realistically, seeing as the Niners’ offense seems to stall against the few legit defenses they have faced, as well as even mediocre defenses for that matter.

This tends to happen when San Fran’s jumbo personnel – power scheme is stymied on first and second downs, and third and medium plus becomes a remote prospect for Alex Smith. A pee-wee football offense only takes you so far, and a conference championship game, unfortunately for Niner fans, isn’t that place.

Turnovers, special teams play and “x-factors” will be be the difference. The fundamental questions become – do you trust Drew Brees or Alex Smith with turnovers? Easy answer – Brees. Who has the special teams and xfactor-advantage? Easy answer, Darren Sproles over Ted Ginn, Jr.

The Niner defense takes a stand that ends up becoming too little – too late, and San Francisco’s offense tries to match the touchdowns scored by the Saints with field goals. In what should be the last game played in the wind-tunneled, seagull-infested dump known as Candlestick, New Orleans eventually separates themselves in victory, 27-16. Give this storied franchise a new stadium already.

Denver @ New England, Saturday @ 5:00pm PST, CBS

Denver will try to make the game shorter early, but will fail with the inability to convert first downs on 3rd and medium-plus after conservative first and second down calls. Tom Brady loves the middle of the field, as Rob Gronkowski to the post and Wes Welker on the crossing route underneath will gain the Pats field position. Denver’s chances are dismal at the half and will become non-existent deep into the 3rd quarter, as New England will lead comfortably.

In what will eventually be only a B+ day for the Pats due to the stubborn Denver defense, New England will manage the clock with first downs after the ball is punted to them time and time again due to the ineptitude of the Broncos offense, and will end up with a somewhat notable 28-10 victory.

Tebow, while not in victory, will righteously justify his creator by thanking the Almighty for the learning experience. As soon as the next Super Bowl Champion is done celebrating and spring camp is soon to open, the “Tebow polarization” question is still the NFL lead.

Houston @ Baltimore, Sunday @ 10:00am PST, CBS

There are a lot of people picking a Houston upset, yet the funny thing is, it is based on absolutely nothing other than a thirst for the unforeseen outcome. The bottom line is, Arain Foster alone won’t be enough to save the rookie-captianed cattle.

Baltimore has every advantage you can think of: home field, playoff experience, defense, quarterback play, and even the running back factor is a push at best for Houston. But even if Foster out-produces Ray Rice, there are simply too many disadvantages for the Texans to overcome.

While not quite a blow-out at the mid-point, the Ravens will come out after lunch and take control, outscoring Houston from the half somewhere in the range of 17-7, and coast into the AFC Championship game, 27-13. Baltimore in January is no place for a third-string, rookie quarterback. That’s a rule.

New York @ Green Bay, Sunday @ 1:30pm PST, FOX

The New York Giants can run the ball. The New York Giants can play in the elements. Eli Manning has solidified himself as an “elite” quarterback, which he so desperately tried to assert himself as to the media before the season got underway. But can Manning match the highest-tier of “elite level” that Aaron Rodgers is capable of in his own back yard?

Considering The Pack gets back from injury: starting guard Brian Bulaga, veteran tackle Chad Clifton and go-to receiver Greg Jennings; picking against Green Bay in the confines of Lambeau Field would tend towards the suicidal, I’m not looking to swallow cyanide just yet after only 31 years.

That being said, two weeks of rest for most of Green Bay’s starters may result in some rust for the favorite, as I wouldn’t be surprised if New York climbed out to a 7-0 or 10-0 lead early. But in the end, the frozen tundra, Sunday night momentum and juggernaut capabilities gets the Packers by with a defense that bends but doesn’t break, 31-20.

* * * * * * *

Baltimore @ New England and New Orleans @ Green Bay – could you ask for two better conference championship games? I guess you could if you are a fan of the teams picked to get beat? But that’s why… they play… the games.

Nothing is that easy to predict, right? Nothing is set in stone, right? Anyone’s crystal ball could end up being a bit foggy from time to time after all. But after a wild card weekend in which all the highest seeds advanced for the first time since god was an infant, the expected will again come to fruition.

Its time to separate the men from the boys. Favorites will rule and the conference championship games next weekend will feature those who we thought would end up remaining afterall. Yeaaa yeaaa Coach Green. Back off. The royalty check is already in the mail.

After the first two weeks, fantasy football managers are either doing cartwheels or wanting to take a bath with a plugged-in toaster over their first round running back selection. The top 10 running backs were without a doubt in a class by themselves compared to running back #11 and beyond.  That being said, the top 5 were also in a different tier in terms of talent and potential when compared to backs 5 through 10.  Here is a quick breakdown of the top 10 running backs picked (based on Yahoo! average pick in 10-team head to head leagues) after the first two weeks.

1. Arian Foster (1.9 ) – The hype machine tabbed Arian Foster as the next great workhorse. Last I checked, true workhorses don’t twit pic MRI’s of their injuries – they rub some dirt on it and get out there. I didn’t have the first pick in any of my leagues, but I told myself if I were faced with the evident dilemma, Foster or Peterson, I would side with Peterson.  Yes Peterson has proven to be injury prone but, ahem, you get the picture.  It doesn’t matter what your name is, as long as there is an “RB” next to it, you are inherently injury prone.  Anyhoo, Foster sat out the first game and was eased into the Texans week 2 contest, producing all of 40 total yards.  Bleh.  If Foster comes back healthy, predicting his level of success will be difficult, as in the next 8 weeks the Texans face just as many great defenses (New Orleans, Pittsburg, Baltimore, Tennessee) as they do questionable ones (Oakland, Jacksonville, Cleveland, Tampa Bay).  What kind of year will the #1 overall pick have?  This is the biggest mystery in fantasy football today.  

2. Adrian Peterson (1.9) – A.D. All Day so far looks to mean all day gaining yards and handing the ball to the back judge in the end zone, not spending all day having his knee scoped.  When early mock drafts were taking place, Foster was the resounding #1 overall pick and Peterson was a distant #2.  As the season began, they both actually had the exact same average draft position (1.9).  While 245 yards and 2 scores isn’t the buffet of production you generally expect out of Peterson, he is the type of guy that once he gets it rolling, can put up some gargantuan numbers.  Expect big things out of Peterson the next 3 weeks against an improved Detroit defense, and two struggling defenses, Kansas City and Arizona.  At the end of the season, I’ll have a Peterson over Foster “I told you so” moment.

3. Jamaal Charles (5.2) – Devastated.  Noose-tying.  Gun-swallowing.  All are descriptions for Charles owners after he did his ACL Sunday versus Detroit.  Charles was subsequently put on injured reserve by the Chiefs and will be out for the remainder of the season.  I believe injury or not, expecting the same outstanding year from Charles that he had last year was a bit of a stretch and he was being slightly over drafted.  If given the opportunity, I would (and in fact did) draft Ray Rice or Chris Johnson over Charles.  The worst part about the tragedy of tearing up his knee is it could have been avoided.  He landed on the Lions mascot.  Wrong place wrong time or… Conspiracy theory?  Naaahhh.. 

4. Ray Rice (5.3) – Rice has gained 245 total yards and has scored 3 times in the first two games, most of which came during a week 1 blowout win versus the Steelers.  The fact that Rice can do so well versus great defenses like Pittsburgh is an exciting thing for Rice owners, but the fact that he doesn’t show up for a lot of big time road contests like last Sunday at Tennessee could be a red flag.  But maybe Tennessee is just better than we thought?  (I knew there was a reason I pinpointed Tennessee’s defense as a second/backup defense).  Rice and the Ravens could struggle the next three weeks versus St. Louis, the New York Jets and Houston respectively, but look for Rice to break it wide open in the middle of the season, when the Ravens have a five-game stretch starting week 7 in which they play:  Jacksonville, Arizona, Pittsburgh, Seattle and Cincinnati.

5. Chris Johnson (5.3) – When drafting 4th, I was given the chance to draft either CJ or Charles with Peterson, Foster and Rice already off the board.  I took CJ.  Yes, I look like a genius now that Charles is out for the year, but to say Johnson has under produced through the first two weeks would be an understatement.  104 total yards and no scores in the first two weeks is baffling for a talent like Johnson.  Either teams are gearing up to stop him, he as lost a step, or Matt Hasselbeck and the passing game is just a better option right now.  Either way, in the next 6 weeks Johnson will benefit from matching up against struggling defenses like Denver, Indianapolis and Cleveland.  He will also suffer from having to match up against Pittsburgh and Houston.  His season could go two directions from here in my opinion – through the roof or in the tank.  For the sake of all Johnson owners, let’s hope it’s the former and not the latter.

6. Rashard Mendenhall (8.8) – Mendenhall’s 123 total yards and one score in the first two weeks isn’t a deal breaker, but also isn’t what is expected out of this rising back.  In the next 8 weeks Mendenhall will benefit from games against:  Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Arizona and Cincinnati; but he will also suffer from games against:  Houston, Tennessee, New England and Baltimore.  Due to this and the fact that Pittsburgh has always rotated a lot of backs, and the fact that their offense has been known to get pass happy when Big Ben is feeling it, the success of Mendenhall in the coming weeks is a 50/50 proposition at best.

7. Michael Turner (10.8) – After a breakout year in 2009 and a funk in 2010, looks as if The Burner is back in 2011.  286 total yards and a score in the opening two weeks is a good sign for Turner owners.  Anticipate The Burner and his tree-trunk sticks to avoid serious injury and possibly pile up close to a 2,000 total yard season and double-digit touchdowns.  With Tampa Bay, Seattle, Carolina and Indianapolis on the schedule in the coming weeks, I have a lot of faith in Turner carrying a lot of fantasy teams to big wins.  You’re welcome Turner owners.  Enjoy.

8. Darren McFadden (12.9) – Like Turner, all early indications are that McFadden is out-performing his average draft position of 12.9.  299 total yards and two scores in the first two weeks says as much, as a little nagging shoulder injury sure hasn’t held him back.  McFadden was an unreal talent in college at Arkansas, and was by far the best running back in the nation when he was an upper-classman.  After a few years of adjusting to the NFL, it looks as if McFadden is ready to take the league by storm.  The next three weeks could be rough as the Raiders play the New York Jets, New England and Houston.  The next three weeks after that though, McFadden could rack up some real damage, as Oakland faces Cleveland, Kansas City and Denver.  Don’t be surprised though if McFadden breaks the mold and takes those great defenses he is up against in the next three weeks to task.  He has the talent to do so.  And also don’t be surprised if McFadden is a top 5 pick next year.   

9. LeSean McCoy (13.8) – In a team of big name contracts it seems McCoy is a little over-shadowed.  He has managed to amass an astonishing 253 total yards and 4 touchdowns in the first two games, and yet the story is still about Michael Vick, DeSean Jackson and Nnamdi Asomugha.  I think McCoy likes being a bit under the radar, and when opponents are so quick to key on the other weapons Philly has, that’s when he takes advantage.  Let’s not be so quick to give him all the credit yet though, as Andy Reid has, as he always has, found creative ways to utilize the overall abilities of a multi-faceted back like McCoy.  McCoy could really flourish this season, as the Eagles don’t face a legitimate defense until week 12 against New England.  

10. Maurice Jones-Drew (15.6) – The great thing about Jones-Drew is that he has always pretty much played for a loser, and has still managed to put up big numbers.  Contrary to what he himself would lead you to believe (Jones-Drew is an avid fantasy player), MJD is no longer the top 3 pick he was in years past.  After the first two weeks he is about right where he should be numbers-wise for his average pick position of 15.6, 204 total yards and one score.  The next 6 weeks the Jags will face:  Carolina, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Houston.  I only see two cupcake defenses in that list.  Look for Jones-Drew to struggle a bit in the coming weeks.

What we learned?  We learned that you were just as well off picking towards then end of the first round as you were in the beginning of it.  When something like this happens it is always good for fantasy sports.  The old guard at the top may be slipping a little, but still has the chance to turn it around the rest of the season due to the overall talent in play.  And even better, the new guard that is right behind the old guard nipping at their heels is stepping up and playing a bit over their predictions.  We also learned that a top 10 back is going to suffer a season-ending injury just like he always does.  This is my 11th year playing fantasy football, and even though the names change, things stay the same.  All is well here.