That Time I Didn’t Tell Mike Breen he had Something in his Teeth…

Mike Breen is the man.

Maybe five years ago, I got to play golf with Mike Breen. It was a great freaking day.

Hearing Breen on the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast this week took me back.

In a charity golf tournament for my job, three dudes from my work were grouped with Breen, the celebrity.

Understand that I grew up wanting to be Chick Hearn. I watched Vin Scully all my life and any hockey knowledge I have is because of Bob Miller. I’m insane about sports and play-by-play broadcasters are a big reason why.

Imagine the feeling when the other dudes let me ride in the cart with him. I tried to play it cool, but I noticed something — one of Breen’s teeth looked black. I’m talking black like a dead tooth. Not a side tooth either. A front tooth. On the top. I’m no dentist, but I’d call it a primary tooth for someone’s appearance.

“What is that?!” I asked myself. “I guess I’ve either never noticed it, or maybe he puts a veneer on to call games on television? Whatever it is, I’m sure as hell not going to say anything to him about it.”

I acted like I didn’t see it. If it really was a dead tooth, I didn’t want to be the a-hole to bring it up.

Nobody else seemed to notice it either until about the 8th hole, when my coworker said something and Breen sheepishly took a big piece of dark spinach or something out of his mouth. In not wanting to offend him or whatever, I failed to tell him he had freaking food in his teeth.

The best part of that day was hearing Breen talk about Chick Hearn. I knew I wasn’t going to often get the chance, but Breen, the Knicks announcer for many years, had a number of wonderful Chick stories.

I also waited until Breen hit an approach shot onto the green before yelling “Bang!” Yep. I did that.

I played some of the worst golf of my life that day and flew home the next morning. When I arrived, it was like I’d been in a dream, playing golf with one of the best dudes in the profession — a play by play guy I knew and admired on television.

Last night, Breen called Game 7 of the NBA Finals, and did an awesome job. Without, as far as I could tell, anything stuck in his teeth.