WHAT IF WEDNESDAY – What If Charlie Sheen Was a Pro Athlete?

What do Shaq, Dr. J, Kareem, Pau Gasol, Penny Hardaway, Jim Brown, and Rick Fox all have in common? They are almost all NBA players and have also acted. More on why NBA players are actors later.

For this week’s “what-if,” I decided to turn the equation around. Lots of pro athletes think they can act. Recent revelations about Charlie Sheen have been interesting. He seems to be doing a new outlandish interview every day. The first of these interviews was with a sports personality, Dan Patrick. In that interview, Sheen talks about his love of baseball, the movie Major League, and his open pass to the UCLA batting cages. His tips to the UCLA team were humorous but didn’t spark my imagination as much as thinking of Sheen as an athlete.

So my question is this: What if Sheen was a pro athlete and not an actor?

The mention of Sheen in the entertainment world is akin to the mention of Kobe or Lebron in the sports world. It brings about such a wide variety of opinions and emotion. My wife’s eye rolls at Sheen are legendary. Everyone cares one way or another- or tries so hard not to care, that it comes off as caring.

In his Dan Patrick interview, which I posted here, Charlie came off as engaging, honest, and energetic. Someone on the show described his energy as contagious — one of the things that probably makes his show the top rated show on television. As an athlete, Sheen would probably be something between ManRam at his best, Magic Johnson, and the Red Sox version of Curt Schilling. Engaging and fun first, enjoying life, and seemingly indifferent to any negative opinions.

I said I would go back and explain why the NBA fosters guys who want to be actors so here goes. The NBA, more than any league, is star-driven. Stars make more of a difference in the daily winning and losing of a team more than any other professional team sport in this country. An NBA Coach once said that the winning team will be the one that gets the most shots for their best player.

That being said, NBA players likely have egos bigger than those in other sports. They are one of 12 on a given team rather than one of 25 or one of 53. They don’t wear helmets and the NBA purports to be one of the most theatrical professional leagues. Baseball players have a few instances where they use theatrics, but nothing like the NBA. NFL players aren’t flopping trying to take charges.

To be an NBA player means you are one of the elite and have been treated differently for a long time. Charlie Sheen has always been part of the Hollywood elite. His father and brother are both famous actors, and he has never known how to be any different than he is. The problem with this, of course, is that he’s never known how to be any different than he is.

What kind of a teammate would Charlie Sheen be and could he relate to his teammates? Contrary to what a fan’s initial reaction might be, I think Sheen would probably be a really good teammate. His infectious positive attitude is one that, like ManRam did for the Dodgers or Magic to the Lakers, can soak deep into the attitudes of his teammates.

One of the things Athletes have in common with Charlie Sheen, at least on the surface, is money. But looking more closely, there are under five athletes who can hold a candle to Sheen’s money and none who can match his power as an actor – at least until his show canceled the rest of its season recently.

Not that I have any personal experience with any of it, but $3 million per week is a lot more than what any athlete makes. At $3 million per week (even if it’s hugely taxed and you’re only taking home, say, half…), you are able to do pretty much whatever it is you please. With no repercussions from his employers until the past week, Sheen has pulled in his huge income and has been able to do whatever he has wanted whenever he pleased.

When sitting around with a bunch of dudes tonight, I brought up the question and the first name that came out of people’s mouths was Tiger Woods. Unlike Woods, Sheen would probably be a great teammate. All indicators are that he is trying to make sure the crew of his show are taken care of, even while it isn’t shooting.

The money Sheen makes and the power he wields as an individual are what make Sheen and Woods Similar.  Sheen’s income has probably been closer to that of Woods than any other pro athlete. The psychology behind being a singularly popular sensation has to be similar. Like Woods, Sheen’s misdeeds have finally caught up to him. Like Woods, I can’t be sure if Sheen will ever be the same.

Unlike Woods, though, Sheen would be an excellent teammate in his chosen sport, which would almost certainly be baseball. The unwritten rules and unexplainable cosmic principles that guide baseball are to Sheen the basic fundamentals of life itself. While Sheen may not have been able to control himself while on his own, why couldn’t a team keep him in line. With talent like Sheen has, he would be a Gold Glove outfielder willing to do anything for his teammates. Having never spent any time in his presence, my best guess is that, as a pro athlete, he would be equal parts Shane Victorino, Tiger Woods, Curt Schilling, and, unfortunately, Miguel Cabrera.

I hope Sheen stays sober. The world is more interesting with him around, and I wouldn’t say that about any actor or any celebrity. His Ochocinco-like panache would make any sport more interesting.

As long as his skills stay strong in his field and as long as he takes care of himself enough to continue in the craft of acting, Sheen will be interesting. Here’s hoping he doesn’t  start declining like Ochocinco. Here’s hoping he hasn’t already blown his chance.

owen@fansmanship.com