White Boys Can Jump?

No they can’t–

yes they can.

I call him the Vanilla Hang Glider. Jacob Tucker: 5’11, 170 lb, D3, and joining the ranks of B. Barry and Tom Chambers.

50 inch vertical. Eat your hearts out America.

The institution likes things neat and clean. A congruent polarity; two party system acting in accordance with this nations need to have topographic morality.

But God doesn’t work that way.

I’ve met black men who can’t dance.

White boys with Afro’s.

And Mexican-Americans who hate illegals.

What do we do with a short white kid who can jump? I don’t know. We are used to the farm boys who can’t jump. Dunking has always been the art of the Afro-American. His personal stamp on the game, creating and further dividing the two camp structure: white boys can shoot, black boys can dunk.

Who you want?

Ill take Dr. J.

Yea, well, I’ll take Larry Legend.

MJ.

West.

Ra Ra Ra..

Is not the beauty of this country found within its diversity? Its moral relativity? Its quilt of various histories? Roads, successes, failures, and relationships all create on thing: America.

Uber verticals have taken on a large part of what it means to be an Afro-American and an athlete in our culture. It makes me wonder if the next plite within the community will be the opposite, an Afro-American athlete who can’t jump.

Mitch Richmond must of been in the jump shot closet for most of his adolescent years. Forget the Afro-American homosexual. What will insight prejudice ideologies next, is the Afro-American who can’t jump.

Before you know it, America will have the need to create a new form of basketball for this alt-universe. The Jacob Tucker’s will be the status-quo. To see what I am seeing, one must ingest a magic brownie, meet a hurried rabbit with the face of Del Curry, then choose to swallow the blue pill.

There the culture of primp and proper exist.

But maybe we should choose to live outside all of this. Allow ourselves to learn a damn good lesson. Jacob Tucker is Jacob Tucker, and Greg Ostertag is Greg Ostertag. There are no similarities, no connectivity between the two because they are both vanilla.

Neither are all Muslims brutal conspirators and zealous terrorist. These tea-bagger judgmentalist needs to give it a rest.

And we, my friends, need to embrace each and every cultural abnormality. Peace.